Just Some Thoughts

So im laying here on this couch, haven't really moved much due to how much pain I am in lately...and this whole blog thing has my 'thinking wheels' turning big time! I have been through so much this year its unbelievable to me I am sitting here right now as sane as I am. I have endured one of thee hardest quarters ever (autumn quarter) and made it out ALIVE!! Im proud to say I didn't completely loose my mind to that one, although at times I was pretty convinced I was going too! I swear math is just not one of my God given talents, and no matter how much I try to understand it it just all sounds like jibberish to me, ask Lauren Day..she'll tell you I am hopeless in the math department. I lost one of my best friends in high school due to a car accident, (rest in peace Charlie I love you). I had a lot of issues within my family that took a tole on me mentally, and recently had my own physical problems (but im getting better thank goodness)!! Biggest challenge of all for me what that I took a leap of faith with my heart, and although it didn't quite turn out like I had planned...this individual (who shall remain nameless) taught me a lot about myself. He taught me that I am a fighter, that I can make it through damn near anything. I don't want him to think im portraying him as this bad person, because honestly he is not. He's quite an amazing person. He makes a room light up and can paint a smile on anyones face. He can make the coldest heart warm and the biggest and toughest walls crumble down, how do I know this? Because Iv've felt it all myself. I've felt feelings again, feelings I thought were lost forever after loosing Harley 7 years ago.  Sure we fought and at times I swore I hated him, but truth be told I can't ever hate him...because he reminded me that I AM ALIVE and that have so much to live for!

To you, You know who you are....thank you. Thank you for reminding me how beautiful I am, for never letting me hit the ground when I was feeling weak, for giving me the truth..even when I didn't want to hear it..and most of all Thank You for making me believe that LOVE still does exist, even if it didn't work out for us. You are a great guy and one day you will make someone very very happy. Through it all I am glad that you and I are still able to be friends, because your friendship means a lot to me. <3

Friends

What ever happened to the days when your girlfriends were real friends? When you didn't have to worry about what secrets you told your friends? I feel like now a days you have to constantly watch your back and thats a shame! I am thankful enough to say that I have 5 friends whom I can always count on and have had some of the best times in my life with . Although only 3  are pictured here (melissa and jasmine in the top and tiffany on the bottom) I have to say without you 5 I would be totally lost. You girls are my rock and the best thing that has ever happened to me. You all have come into my life at various times and each and every time has been near perfect timing! I love you Melissa, Jasmine, Tiffany, and my two Lauren's Lauren Carver and Lauren Day! You girls are the best friends a girl could EVER ask for. I can't thank you enough for all you have done for me and for being such great friends.

Update

So im new to this whole blogging thing. A few of my friends have it and it seams like a great way to keep people updated so im going to give it a shot. I just wanted to let you all know im doing ok. I am home from the hospital and am feeling ok, not great but im getting there with time. I had a pretty nasty infection in my galbladder and an enlarged spleen...nothing to be playing around with according to the doctor. I spent two days at the hospital and was well taken care of. Just wanted to let you all know (: